Ever since seeing my two friends masturbating and ejaculating, my mind couldn’t think of anything else. But I hesitated to do it, fearing that if I did it and my hands couldn’t leave my penis like they said, I’d be dead.
As usual, at noon, Binh came over with his bucket to wait for me to go check the rice paddies. But today, when I went out to the field, I didn’t see the other two. I asked Binh, and he replied, “They’re glued to their porn movies at the arcade. I haven’t seen them in the fields or anything lately.”
At the familiar riverbank, Binh, as usual, rolled up his pants, used a stick to clear the reeds, and slowly walked down. Suddenly, he slowed down, pulled out a brand-new phone from his pocket, and handed it to me: “Hold this for me.”
I was wide-eyed. Binh’s phone was much bigger and nicer than Nhi’s. I excitedly asked, “Did your sister just buy it for you?”
Binh was rummaging around looking for a bucket in the river, and without looking, he replied, “I secretly bought it without her knowledge. If you tell her, I’ll drown you.”
Nhi’s phone was an old-fashioned button phone; although it could play movies, the screen was small. Binh’s phone was a newer model with a slightly larger screen. I was so captivated that I couldn’t blink, my hand never leaving it, and every now and then I’d press a button to turn it on.
Binh suddenly yelled, “Are you so obsessed with looking at my abs? What have you been staring at like you’ve lost your mind? I’ve called you a dozen times already! Give me the bucket!”
I suddenly realized his phone screen had a picture of a guy with six-pack abs as a wallpaper, but I thought it was some model or actor; I didn’t know it was his picture. Hearing him say that, I was startled and replied, “Damn, is that your picture? That’s amazing!”
He replied, “Are you going to take a picture? Come to my house tonight and I’ll take one for you!”
I shook my head, “No way. I don’t have any abs to photograph!”
Actually, it wasn’t that bad, it’s just that my abs weren’t as defined as Binh’s, and my chest muscles weren’t as good either, so I felt shy and refused. Binh emptied all the fish and snails into the bucket, closed the lid, put it back in its place, and didn’t forget to add some bait.
As soon as he stepped ashore, I said, “Give me the bucket, I’ll carry it!”
He grabbed the bucket first, replying, “No, you carry your phone. Carrying the bucket will get muddy and dirty.”
I held the phone in my hand like a treasure, even though I knew it wasn’t mine. I didn’t hesitate to ask, “Hey, does your phone have any games? Can I borrow it sometime? The other day when I went to the phone shop to buy a top-up card for my mom, I saw the shop owner playing some really cool games.”
Binh jumped down to the makeshift shelter by the rice field, and as he pulled it up, he replied, “My phone doesn’t have games. It only has porn. If you want to watch, I’ll lend it to you.”
I frowned and said, “Have you caught that from Nhi and Lui? Aren’t you tired of watching those?”
Binh replied, “Not the same. If you watch it, I guarantee you’ll like it.”
I didn’t know what was different about the porn Binh was talking about; it was just the same old girls with big, wet vaginas as before. I didn’t have a phone; from childhood to adulthood, I only knew the world through the black and white TV at home and my mother’s stories. I didn’t know anything else. I just wished I had a phone to install games on. I’d envied the guy selling phones playing games several times.
Actually, Binh was both poor and lucky. His sister married a rich man and was doing well financially. His parents, though working far away, sent money home every month to take care of things. That’s why he would occasionally show me something new. The good thing is, he sees that I have nothing and I’m always refusing, but if I borrow something, he’ll give it to me right away.
And I think Binh is quite clever. Neither of us went to school, yet he can read Vietnamese fluently, not missing a single word. Since he started going to the arcade in the market, I think he’s even learning English online. Thanks to that, I hear him swear less. Like when he’s in the rice paddies, if he slips and falls, he’ll yell “Fuck!” or “Holy shit!” instead “Đụ má!” like before. I don’t understand what he means, but it sounds more sophisticated.
Binh had walked a short distance away from me when suddenly I saw him put the bucket on the bank, pull up his shorts to his crotch, and step into the rice paddies. He reached down and fumbled around for a while, then pulled up the large trap that he and I had set the day before. He looked in the trap and shouted to me, “Beat the catch, Phuc! There’s a big snakehead fish! When we get home this afternoon, tell Aunt Hai to make sour fish soup for me to share!”
He stood by the water’s edge, leaning against the dike, pulling the bucket closer. With one hand, he tilted the bucket’s mouth, and with the other, he turned the trap upside down to let the snakehead fish fall into the bucket. But there was too much water in the bucket, and the snakehead fish thrashed its tail violently and leaped out, falling on the dike’s side and sliding down into the rice field.
Binh yelled, “Damn it!”, then quickly chased after it and caught it as soon as it leaped out. His years of wading through rice fields and wading in the water hadn’t been in vain; every catch was a sure one. He caught the fish on the dike’s side when it was about two centimeters from the water’s surface. Binh crouched down to hold the fish, resulting in his waist and back being submerged in the rice field water.
He called out to me, “Get me a straw or a piece of string!”
I knew without a doubt he was planning to thread a rope through the fish’s gills to carry it away so it wouldn’t jump around like it did earlier. I quickly looked around, but there was no rope or straw to be seen. I said, “Just put it in the trap and carry it home. We’ll set it again tonight or tomorrow.”
He mumbled something, put the fish in the trap, threw it onto the dike, and hurriedly climbed out. The big snakehead fish was in the trap, and I saw another snakehead fish in his pants.
He stood in front of me, his thin, waterlogged soccer shorts clinging tightly to his crotch. I didn’t know if his penis was erect, but I could see a huge, fleshy rod clearly visible beneath the fabric. Behind him were his firm, round buttocks, without the prominent outline of underwear—he wasn’t wearing any today.
But more importantly, when I saw Binh’s penis, my own penis in my pants inexplicably became hard and erect. Luckily I was wearing underwear, otherwise I’d just want to dive to the bottom of the river to avoid embarrassment.
Although I quickly averted my gaze, Binh, who had already noticed me staring at his crotch, asked, “What are you staring at? Is this your first time seeing a dick?”
I replied, “Just looking a little curious, what’s the big deal?”
Actually, it wasn’t the first time. We’d been friends for over ten years, and this was the first time I’d seen Binh’s dick so big and clear. We didn’t usually talk about sex when we were alone. We’d occasionally stand by the riverbank and urinate into the river, and seeing each other’s dicks was normal. But back then, either we were with the other two guys, or his dick wasn’t as big as it was now.
My face was dark, so even though I was embarrassed, I couldn’t blush. But Binh still teased, “See how big it is? Do you like it? Let me pull it open for you to see, okay?”
I pretended to change the subject: “Damn, going to the rice paddies without underwear. One day a fish will bite off your dick, you little brat!”
He retorted: “I have a Tyrannosaurus Rex in my pants, what fish would dare go in there?”
Just then, Sen, the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Tam from the beginning of the village, came back from bringing food to her parents in the rice paddies. Seeing Sen approaching, Binh felt both embarrassed and flustered. He didn’t know what to do, so he glanced around before jumping into the rice paddies. I stood on the bank laughing uncontrollably.
Sen heard the commotion and quickly ran over to ask: “Oh, are you and Binh checking your traps? Why are you laughing so hard, Phuc? And what are you doing down there, Binh?”
Binh was too embarrassed to answer, so I answered for him: “Binh is holding a huge fish down there. If I saw it, I’d be scared to death!”
Sen excitedly asked: “Really, Phuc?” After saying that, Sen excitedly grabbed the bucket handle and was about to climb down, shouting, “Here’s the bucket, brother! Let me go down so you can put the fish in!”
Binh yelled, “Don’t go down!”
I couldn’t bear to see Binh struggling like that, so I held Sen back with one hand and said, “No need, dear. Binh is the best fisherman in the neighborhood. He’ll lift the fish up in a snap!”
Sen excitedly squatted down on the embankment and said, “Then I’ll sit here and watch Binh catch the fish! I’m so curious after hearing you talk about it.”
Suddenly, Sen looked at my other hand and saw a brand-new, sparkling phone. She exclaimed, “Oh my God! Did you just buy a new phone, Phuc? It’s so beautiful! Can you take pictures with it? I heard that new phones take really good pictures! I want one too, but my parents won’t let me. They said they’ll only let me buy one when I get into university. Brother, let’s wait a little longer, when Binh pulls the fish up, let’s take a picture!”
I almost couldn’t hold back my laughter. If Binh pulled his fish up, Sen would probably faint on the spot. And who knows, this phone might even be full of Binh’s “fish pictures.”
I replied, “That’s Binh’s phone, Sen…” I hadn’t finished my sentence when Binh glanced at me, so I continued, “But the battery’s dead, it won’t turn on. We’ll take a picture another time. I’ll take a picture of Binh holding the fish and show it to you later.”
Sen sighed, “What a shame. But it’s okay, though. By the way, Binh, why are you down there all the time? Are you planning to drown the fish?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. But it made sense! Fish also come to the surface to breathe!
However, Binh wasn’t drowning the fish, but he was almost out of breath himself. The scorching sun was beating down on his head and back, and he was sweating profusely, his shirt completely soaked.
I felt I’d teased her enough, so I said to Sen, “Can you do me a favor? Take this snakehead fish back to my mom and tell her to clean it up and make sour fish soup for Binh this afternoon.”
When Sen heard “for Binh,” she stood up and brushed off her bottom. Without asking a second time, she picked up the fish trap, said “Yes,” and trotted off.
Sen liked Binh. Everyone in the neighborhood knew it. Binh, though dark-skinned, was handsome, not inferior to any of the actors on TV. Sen’s parents used to forbid her from hanging out with us because she was a girl. But gradually, they saw how hardworking and capable Binh was, and now his sister in the city was taking care of him. So, if they married Sen off and brought a son-in-law home, it would be a good thing.
Binh waited until Sen was out of sight before daring to crawl onto the embankment. He took off his sweat-soaked shirt and threw it in my face, sweat dripping from his chest.
His muscles were firm and taut, sloping down to his stomach and waist. I inhaled a breath of his sweat and yelled, “Damn it, you dog, you’re disgusting!”
He panted, sulking and cursing, “Damn! Why didn’t you wait until I was completely roasted before telling her to leave?”
I retorted, “But you were so confident showing off in front of me earlier! Why are you hiding it when you see Sen? The snakehead fish from earlier has turned into a minnow now, ha ha!”
He replied, “You’re different, she’s different!”
The sad thing is, Binh doesn’t like Sen. The more Sen tries to get close to him, the more Binh avoids her. I feel sorry for her; after all, Sen is cute and capable. Besides school, she still helps her parents in the fields. The only problem is she’s completely infatuated with Binh. She even tells me, “I like cool guys like Binh. He’s so incredibly cool!”
Looking at Binh’s appearance, I laughed and said, “Serves you right for going to the rice paddies without underwear!”
Binh grabbed his trouser legs and shook them in the wind to get rid of the water, replying, “Normally, when I go to the rice paddies, my pants don’t get wet. It’s just bad luck today!”
I continued, “Well, if you saw her coming, just sit down and wrap your legs around the bucket. Why jump into the rice pad? You were trying to get Sen’s attention, weren’t you?”
He said, “Say another word and I won’t let you borrow my phone!”
Hearing that, I lost all courage to tease him and changed my tone: “Hey, it seems like she really likes you. She ran off as soon as I told her to bring fish home to make sour soup for you. You didn’t pay any attention to her at all, did you? Poor girl.”
He looked away and replied, “If you feel sorry for her, go like her yourself. You’re tall and handsome, you’re no less attractive than anyone else!” I replied, “I give up. I’m not capable of catching ‘bighead fish’ in the rice paddies like you!”
Seeing me teasing him, Binh lunged at me, pushing me down onto the dike. He pressed one hand against my chest and the other against my groin, squeezing relentlessly. While squeezing, he yelled, “Damn! You’re doomed, kid!”
It was the first time someone had touched me in such a sensitive area, and I instinctively tried to pull his hand away. But Binh was stronger than me, and he was pinning me down from above. My hand was still holding his phone, so I had no strength left. After about ten squeezes, my penis started to get erect. I panicked and rolled to the side. Binh seemed to sense something was wrong and stopped his excessive teasing.
We were both a little embarrassed. He spoke first, “Okay, I’m going up to the upstream to pick some water hyacinth flowers to make sour soup. You take the bucket of fish back to Aunt Hai first.”
After saying that, he quickly walked away. I stood there, still in shock, my erection not yet completely gone. I thought to myself, something really wasn’t right.
Before, I only got an erection when I woke up in the morning. Most recently, it was only on a few occasions watching porn with those two guys. I never thought I would get an erection because another guy touched me.
But today, seeing Binh’s dick, I had indecent thoughts. The image of his huge dick under his thin pants kept replaying in my head, even more intense than the scene of those two perverted guys masturbating. The feeling of his hand squeezing my dick was still there; just thinking about it made me get an erection again. Of course, I felt it was very abnormal, but I didn’t know exactly what was abnormal.
I put the bucket of fish on the water’s edge behind the house and hurried down to the river to wash my hands and feet, not forgetting to give my phone to my mother to hold. The moment my feet dipped into the water, I heard my mother’s voice from the shore: “Did Binh just buy a new phone? It’s so beautiful!”
Across the road, Binh’s voice replied: “Yes. Where did you put these water hyacinths, Auntie?”
My mother replied: “Just leave them on the lid of the water jar. I’ll wash them later. Remember to come over for dinner, okay?”
Looking up from the river, I saw Binh approach my mother, take the phone back from her hand, and then walk straight home. He didn’t even glance at me, just like the times we’d argued before. But whatever, I hadn’t done anything to him anyway.
The sun quickly set behind the house, its golden light shimmering on the water. Dinner was already laid out on the table, but Binh was nowhere to be seen. My mother called out: “Go tell Binh to come over for dinner, son.”
I retorted: “Just leave him alone, Mom. He’ll come over when he’s hungry!”
My mother stood by the stove, hands on her hips, and said sternly, “Go quickly, please.”
I knew perfectly well that orders from above had to be obeyed. Sometimes I felt my mother loved Binh more than me. I hurried over to Binh’s house, tiptoeing to the door and calling, “Binh, come eat!”
There was no reply, so I quickly stepped into the yard. His house, like mine, had no fence. Seeing the front door closed, I followed the side path to the kitchen annex. The annex door was made of unevenly sized wooden planks. Over time, the door had been riddled with termites, leaving several holes large enough for me to see in from the outside.
Inside the annex, there was a hammock, creaking and swaying. He lay in the hammock, feet pointing inwards, head facing the door, fast asleep.
It was peaceful.
I didn’t bother calling him, it wasn’t the first time anyway. For over a decade, he’d slept like that every afternoon; even if the sky fell, it wouldn’t wake him up.
I told my mother about it, and she actually knew, she just told me to go wake him up “for good luck.” Our meal was quick and easy; she even set aside a bowl of sour soup with the best pieces of fish for Binh.
The afternoon breeze blew strongly from the back of the house. I waited for the soup to digest before hurrying to take a bath. The water level was high this season, reaching all the way to the bank. Or rather, it was because the ground was too low. I jumped into the river, swam a lap, and then sat on the concrete bridge my mother and I had built years ago. I immersed myself in the water, letting my mind wander with the floating water hyacinths. Suddenly, I reached down and grabbed my genitals, recalling the feeling of Binh fondling my penis.
Then I was startled, completely bewildered by what I was doing. I wondered if I was just curious because it was the first time someone had touched my body… Whether it was true or not, I hoped so. If not, then I truly didn’t dare face myself.
Seeing that I was still soaking in the water, my mother came down to look for me. She stood on the bank and called out, “I’ve reheated the soup. Hurry up and take the food over to Binh for me.”
I muttered to myself, “It’s Binh again.”
I had been soaking in the water for a long time, and the wind was getting cold. I stood up to let the water drain from my body and hurried upstairs. After changing my clothes, before I even had time to dry my hair, my mother urged, “Binh must be awake by now.”
I pouted and retorted, “I think you love Binh more than me!”
My mother clicked her tongue and said, “Poor thing, he’s all alone at home. Are you still jealous of him, child?”
Every time I mentioned Binh, my mother would say these words without missing a single word. My mother prepared a large bowl of rice and placed a warm bowl of sour soup on a plate so I wouldn’t burn myself. Binh had a habit of oversleeping until late at night, then cooking noodles and going back to sleep. He wouldn’t come over for dinner. My mother was afraid he’d get sick if he continued like that, so she kept asking me to bring him food.
Every time I brought it over, he was still asleep. I had to call him repeatedly, like calling a boat to a deserted shore, before he would finally wake up.
Even though we lived only one house apart, the road was pitch black at night, with only a few weak rays of light from the neighbor’s electric lamp. I didn’t dare walk quickly, lest I trip over a rock and spill all the rice and soup, and my mother would nag me until morning. I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally made it into Binh’s yard with everything still in my hands. I walked slowly and cautiously, taking one step at a time towards the kitchen. Just a few more steps and I’d be there; I couldn’t let myself “fall at the gates of heaven.”
As usual, I glanced through the door, but the scene today was different. On previous occasions, Binh would still be asleep at this time, the house pitch black. But today he was awake, with a black and white television in front of him. He was on the TV but not watching, his eyes glued to his phone screen. The light from the television shone on him; after a while, I could see both the phone screen and the whole scene inside.
Binh was lying naked from head to toe in the hammock, one hand holding his phone, the other gripping his erect penis. I didn’t know what he was doing, I only saw his hand circling around his penis, then moving it up and down very quickly. Occasionally, Binh would arch his back and push his lower body up, his hand gripping the base of his penis.
His penis was almost a handspan long, at least seventeen or eighteen centimeters. From base to tip, it was round and beautiful, quite veiny but not crude-looking. So, when we went to the fields at noon, his penis was indeed erect in his pants. No wonder he panicked and jumped into the field when he saw Sen running towards him.
Binh kept stroking his penis with one hand while his other hand frantically tapped on his phone. Several movies were playing, but I froze for a moment when I glanced at them. On the screen were two men, both completely naked. One was sucking the other’s penis, while the other was tilting his head back and moaning.
It turned out that Binh’s porn was nothing like Nhi’s!
If my hands weren’t holding food, I would have reached down to my own erect penis and stroked it like Binh did. I had never seen anyone do that before, and I didn’t know why. My heart was pounding, my whole body burning with heat. My eyes were glued to the hand gripping Binh’s penis.
Binh stroked his penis for a while longer, then suddenly pulled his phone aside. He tensed his body, his thigh and abdominal muscles clearly visible. Then, from the tip of his penis, a stream of milky white semen shot out, falling in waves onto his chest and stomach. He let out a few soft “Ah… Ah…” sounds and writhed. Binh then gasped for breath, but his breathing seemed to have relieved a great deal of his burden.
Binh hurriedly sat up, his face still turned inward. I panicked and quickly stepped outside, not wanting Binh to know that I had seen his penis.
I saw everything he just did.
My penis was still rock hard, luckily I was wearing underwear so from the outside it was just a bulge. I went out into the yard, pretending I’d just arrived, and shouted loudly: “Binh! Are you awake yet, you dog? Binh!”
I heard him reply from inside: “Come in. I’m inside.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Binh opened the kitchen door and poked his head out. He asked: “What are you doing standing all the way out in the yard shouting today? Usually you come banging on the door like that!”
I made an excuse: “At lunchtime you came home so quietly you didn’t even look at me. I thought I’d angered you. Who would dare come near me!”
Binh replied: “You’re pretending to be afraid of me being angry?”
I scoffed and said: “Hey, give me a hand.” I meant for him to take the rice and soup from my hand and bring it inside.
Unexpectedly, Binh reached out, but not to take the rice, but to grab my crotch. My penis, already hard from the start, became even harder when he grabbed it.
He teased me, “Why did you bring a gun with you when you brought rice?”
I snapped, “To blow your head off!”
Seeing that I couldn’t resist, Binh gently squeezed my penis a few times. The squeeze was just right, not rough or kneaded like at lunchtime. I felt both pleasure and embarrassment, while he teased, “I thought it was an AK-47, but it turned out to be a rifle! I was a little scared!”
I cursed, “Damn it! Did I dump the bowl of soup on your head?”
Binh stopped, taking the rice and soup from my hands and placing it on the table inside the house. I didn’t go inside but went straight home, only telling him, “Remember to bring the bowl to my mom this morning!”
I ran home, taking several deep breaths as I went. My “little brother” and I finally calmed down. My mother noticed my strange complexion and asked, “Why is your face so red, son?”
I replied, “It’s too hot at Binh’s house, he’s boiling water to make noodles.”
My mother said, “I’ll scold him tomorrow. He’s home alone, eating like that, who would know he’s sick in the middle of the night?”
I didn’t think so. His “little brother” is so big and strong, all muscle and bones, it’ll be a long time before he gets sick.
My mother sat on one side sharpening bamboo strips, and I sat on the other side pulling them, but I kept messing them up. My mind was filled with images of Binh’s “bamboo,” and I couldn’t concentrate at all. My mother yelled, “Good heavens, you’re ruining them all! You’re making too many mistakes, people will scold you to death!”
*Sharpening bamboo strips: Bamboo strips are made by sharpening one end of the strip with a knife so it’s easier to thread through a hole.
*Pulling the bamboo strips: The strips are pulled through a round hole to make the body round and even, increasing the aesthetic appeal so that when woven into roofing, it can be sold at a higher price.
I was pulling the bamboo strips while listening to my mother tell stories about my older sister studying in the city. She kept telling these stories over and over again, even though I knew them by heart. I felt sorry for my mother. It seemed like she never calculated anything for herself. One thing was, “My older sister is now…”, the other was, “Hanh is in the city…”. Sometimes I felt a pang of sadness, but oh well, my mother loves me so much. She’s just a single woman who can’t take care of everything perfectly.
Thanks to my mother’s stories, I finally managed to temporarily forget the images from earlier. I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking I had escaped danger, but I was too happy too soon.
When I turned off all the lights and lay in bed, every moment from earlier kept looping in my head. My penis kept getting harder. I lay there tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, until one or two in the morning.
I thought, “Maybe I should go pee? Maybe I just need to.”
I did as I thought, hurriedly opening the door and stepping out into the backyard. I slept on one side, my mother on the other. Although we were country folk raised in the fields, my mother always respected her children’s privacy. When we were a little older, she went and got some planks of wood to build a separate room around the bed, a proper room with a door for us to come and go. The room she slept in used to belong to my older sister, but now that she’s gone, my mother sleeps in her room to ease her longing for her. As for my room, I’ve always had my own little space.
Outside, the croaking of frogs and toads was deafening. I pulled my hard erection out of my pants, pulling them down to make it easier to pee. My penis, by habit, was pointing upwards in my underwear. Every morning when I pee, I have to slightly push the head of my penis forward so the urine doesn’t splash all over my stomach.
I just stand there, mosquitoes swarming around my feet, yet I can’t pee a single drop. My penis is erect and won’t go down; I’m horny, itchy, and frustrated all at once. I gently strain to get the urine out, and finally, after a while, some comes out.
But as soon as that fluid comes out of the urethra, it runs down the shaft of my penis and touches my hand. It’s thick, sticky, viscous, and slippery, but it’s oozing out, not gushing from the tip.
I was terrified. Never before had such a gush of fluid come out like that!
The fluid oozed out a little, then a little more, and every crevice between my fingers was now sticky. For some reason, I suddenly remembered the scene of Binh gripping his penis and moving it up and down. I felt like a madman, my mind racing with thoughts, and my hands doing the same thing. The slippery fluid that flowed out, I used to lubricate my penis, then moved my hand up and down.
An unprecedentedly lewd sensation, accompanied by something like an electric current running through me.
It ran down every strand of my hair. I thought to myself, “So good… It really is so good… I’m so incredibly horny…”
I stroked faster and faster, the pleasure coming in waves. Because I was so stimulated, I really couldn’t hold on any longer. My penis was fully erect, and after a few more up-and-down strokes, I started to ejaculate. I grabbed my penis, gently pressing the head forward. Streams of semen shot out forcefully, splashing into the rice paddy water.
My penis twitched in my hand, my mouth gaping open as I gasped for breath. My legs trembled with pleasure, to the point that my knees buckled and touched each other. I had to hold onto a large tree trunk next to the water’s edge to keep myself steady, otherwise I would have collapsed.
So this is what it feels like to masturbate and ejaculate. Nhí and Lùi weren’t lying. Looks like I’m about to get addicted to masturbating just like them.