On a cool afternoon, I saw Mom sitting by the riverbank, preparing fish. Her hand gripped the knife on the cutting board, her eyes fixed on the ground before her, but her expression was vacant and lifeless. Her eyebrows furrowed as the knife struck the board, sending blood and flesh from the dead fish flying in all directions. But I knew that even if there were a dozen more fish, she wouldn’t mind; her frown was only because of something on her mind.
Yesterday, I heard Hanh call home, first to share the good news with Mom that she had found a job. But it was only her first month working, and she had moved out of the dormitory, so her living expenses had increased significantly. Mom smiled reassuringly at her: “Don’t worry, dear! I’ll get my paycheck and send it to you later. Try your best at work, and let me know if anything happens!”
After the call, Mom sadly put her old, worn-out button phone back into her pocket. The money earned back home, how can it possibly be enough to live comfortably in Saigon? Last night I kept hearing my mother bustling around in the kitchen; she probably couldn’t sleep. With only one daughter, all alone in the city, she can’t help but worry, but even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t know how.
If only my father were still alive, she wouldn’t have to struggle so much. I often tease her: “If Dad were still alive, we’d be much better off, wouldn’t we, Mom?”
My mother replies: “Oh, come on, look at Mr. Tư Khê, Mrs. Diệu’s husband, over there, son? He used to be a very successful businessman. Later, he got involved in gambling, and now he can’t sell his wife and children to anyone. I’m already raising you two alone; how could I possibly manage to support a husband too?”
My mother’s words make sense; who knows if having a husband would make things any easier? But seeing her struggling alone makes me feel sorry for her. She’s used to hard work, she doesn’t need anyone to know. But in times of despair like this, she wants to talk to someone, but she can’t. I hurried down to the riverbank, calling out as I went, “Mom, have you seen my red tracksuit?”
My mother continued scraping the fish scales, completely oblivious to my calls. The news about Hanh had made her forget everything else. She sat facing the river, and I approached her without her noticing. I called out loudly, “Mom, have you seen my outfit?”
My mother jumped, screaming, “Oh my god! Phuc Phuc, the fish fell into the river! Quickly, quickly!”
My sudden call startled her, causing her to drop the fish. It slipped from the mound of earth and sank into the water. I frantically ran down the bridge and jumped into the spot where the fish had disappeared, cautiously searching the muddy ground, afraid of disturbing the water and washing it away. A thought suddenly crossed my mind: “If the fish stays still like Binh’s snakehead fish, it’ll be easy!”
After wading through the water for a while, getting my clothes completely soaked, I finally found it. Otherwise, my mother would have been heartbroken all night. She carried the basket of fish down to the bridge and scrubbed it clean with alum. I suddenly asked her, “Does my older sister need a lot of money up there, Mom? Don’t worry, Uncle Bay just asked me to guard his shrimp farm for him. I’ll go ask him for an advance so you can send it to her!”
My mother smiled sadly, dipping the basket of fish back into the water, and said, “I’ll go to the commune office tomorrow to ask for some money. I’ll try to pay it back gradually once your sister has a stable job.”
I said, “You haven’t even finished paying off the old debt you borrowed for my sister’s tuition yet, who would lend you more money!”
My mother sighed, picked up the basket of fish, and went back up, saying, “I’ll try my luck. If that doesn’t work, I’ll go around asking for money.”
*Wandering around: people around
I listened to whatever my mother said, but I knew perfectly well that she hadn’t really been close to anyone, only surrounded by people who were as poor as she was. The more I thought about it, the more hopeless I felt, and I stopped wondering why my mother seemed so lost.
I sat under the bridge, lost in thought, the water rising from my heels to my knees. Looking at the clumps of water hyacinths drifting lazily in the water, I felt they mirrored my mother’s life. They seemed carefree and at ease, but I didn’t know where they would be swept away by the current. Some clumps drifted back and forth, some got caught under the bridge over the river, some got stuck in the propellers of passing boats and were chopped to shreds.
A clump of tender, green water hyacinths was drifting in the middle of the river when suddenly a hand grabbed it. Ah, it was Uncle Bay Ro. His riverbank was only a dozen meters from mine. Uncle Bay takes advantage of this season to gather water hyacinths and fence them off near the bridge, partly to prevent soil erosion, and partly to weave them into baskets and other containers later, earning a little extra money.
Seeing Uncle Bay gathering water hyacinths, the children in the house also rushed down to the river to cool off. Although the children in this area are all quick swimmers, they can’t be left unsupervised. Except for a few like Ut or Men, Uncle Tu Hoan’s children, whose parents work in the fields from dawn until late at night, they can only look after each other; if God is merciful, they grow up, if not, they suffer.
People say this place has a lot of water, but it’s fierce, so the village has never prospered. The road on the other side of the river is called the main road. Because many people use it, they’ve raised the ground level, so they don’t have to worry about the road being slippery during the flood season. But the road near my house is called the side road; few people use it, so the land is very low. When the flood season comes…
The children had to huddle close to their parents on the road, lest they fall into the river at any moment.
Uncle Bay tightened the rope around the “farming cage” of water hyacinths, then turned and walked away, instructing the oldest of the group: “Thang, remember to watch your younger siblings. Don’t let any of you wander too far, okay?”
The children all responded with a sweet “Yes,” and as soon as the adults were out of sight, they started playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek on the shore was fun, but hide-and-seek in the water was even more fun. The bridge’s support, a clump of water hyacinths, or a branch jutting out over the river could be an ideal hiding place. But the adults were only worried about the future; these country children had grown up drinking from this river. Even if they were swept away by the strong current, they would know to cling to the stone bridge’s support to stay afloat.
I was still lost in thought when my mother’s voice called out from upstairs: “Binh, come have dinner! Aunt Hai just made you a delicious snakehead fish!”
Binh, walking along the roadside, turned towards the house and replied to my mother: “Yes, I’ll come have dinner with you after I’ve showered!”
Then he trotted down the bridge, carrying a bag of soap with a corner torn off. He jumped into the water, then surfaced, smeared the soap on his hands, and rubbed it on his head a few times. He asked me again: “Aren’t you going to shower? Why are you sitting there all the time?”
I replied: “No.”
Binh said: “If you’re not going to shower, why are your pants wet? You’re a grown-up and you’re still peeing in your pants!”
I replied: “Oh, you idiot! My mother dropped a snakehead fish earlier, so I went down to retrieve it.”
Binh grinned mischievously and said: “There’s another snakehead fish down here, go retrieve it!”
I raised my eyebrows: “If your snakehead fish isn’t edible, why bother catching it?”
Binh replied, “How do you know it’s not edible?” He leaned close to my ear and whispered, “I’ll show you how to eat it sometime!”
After saying that, he raised his eyebrows a few times. I gently kicked him in the chest to push him away. He dove underwater several times to wash off the soap, and when he surfaced, he pushed his wet hair back, revealing a high, bright forehead.
He gestured for me to sit closer to the edge of the bridge, submerging both feet in the water. He chuckled and asked, “Have you ever caught fish with your feet?”
I knew without a doubt that catching fish with your feet would only get you the female fish between his legs. He gave me a very inviting look. Before I could do anything, Binh dove back down, and after surfacing again, threw me his pants.
Although I could only see the upper half of Binh’s body, as his lower half was submerged in the water, the thought of him being naked in front of me made my penis hard in my pants. Binh glanced around, then slightly raised himself up, revealing a thick patch of pubic hair beneath the water’s surface.
He then submerged himself again, pulling my feet closer to his penis. My soles pressed together, rubbing against his hot, erect penis. My whole body heated up, from the knees down I was submerged in water. Binh deliberately pushed his hips, making his penis slide between my feet, his face becoming increasingly lewd.
Binh occasionally closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, moaning softly, “Mmm, so good!”
Looking at him, I couldn’t control myself either; my penis in my pants started to leak a lot of lubricant, soaking through my pants. Suddenly, I saw Mr. and Mrs. Tam returning from the fields, rowing their boat towards us, with Sen sitting in the middle. He leaned towards the side of the boat, staring intently at Binh.
Binh was still high and unaware of anything, so I squeezed his penis with both legs, making him jump and yell, “Damn, that hurts!” I gestured with my head, and he looked in that direction and saw Sen. His penis and testicles went limp in an instant, then he panicked and dove deep underwater, leaving only his head above the water.
I teased him, “Oh, you’re scared too?”
Binh still spoke defiantly, “Scared? Just startled a little.”
We held our breath and remained motionless, waiting for Mr. and Mrs. Tam’s boat to pass. Unexpectedly, Mrs. Tam, sitting at the bow of the boat, called out, “Come over, I need to give some things to Hanh’s mother.”
Binh’s face turned pale, even though no one could see him submerged in the water. Sen, seeing Binh, was overjoyed. She exclaimed, “Binh, are you embarrassed to see me? Why did you dive so hard when I arrived?”
Binh didn’t answer, he dove into the water and waded across to the other side of the river. Mrs. Tam scolded Sen: “What kind of girl teases other people’s sons like that? You’ll get a bad reputation!”
I chuckled, crumpled Binh’s pants in my hand, and asked Mrs. Tam again: “Mrs. Tam, do you need something from my mother? She’s cooking dinner upstairs.”
Mrs. Tam grabbed a bundle with a handle and handed it to me; it was full of Sesbania flowers. She smiled: “Here, take this up to your mother. She loves Sesbania flowers in sour soup.”
*Sour soup: a type of sour soup
I saw that the Sesbania flowers could make two or three pots of sour soup, so I asked again: “Aren’t you going to eat any, Mrs. Tam? Why are you giving me so much?”
Mrs. Tam replied: “I have some here. Lots of them. Tell your mother to tell me if she wants more, and I’ll pick some more for her!”
I nodded in thanks. Mrs. Tam propped the boat against the rafters and pushed it away from the bank. Sen glanced at Binh, who was peeking from the other side of the river, and shouted, “I’m going home, Binh!”
Aunt Tam yelled again, “Sit properly! Don’t lean out and flip over into the water!”
“I’ll leave you to wade back home, son!”
Sen wasn’t afraid of her mother’s all-too-familiar scolding. She sat smiling, looking back at Binh until the boat disappeared from sight. Binh waited until the boat was far away before wading back, his face full of resentment.
Actually, Mrs. Tam loved my mother and me very much. She never hesitated to give anything she could. Perhaps because of her generous heart, heaven blessed her with many children. She had nine children in total. The oldest was the same age as my mother, and the youngest, Sen, was about the same age as me and Binh.
Back then, she was also poor. My husband and I worked hard from dawn till dusk, toiling year-round just to support all our children. Now that her children are grown, the older ones take care of the younger ones, so she’s less burdened. Compared to her, my mother and I are only the age of her grandchildren, perhaps that’s why she loves us even though we’re not related by blood.
I placed the bag of water hyacinth flowers on the headboard of the bridge to keep them from getting wet, then quickly immersed myself next to Binh. As soon as my body was submerged in the water, my hand… He quickly placed his hand on my penis and started stroking it. His penis, which had just gone limp, was now rock hard again.
I pulled my outer pants and underwear down to my knees, allowing us to comfortably stroke each other’s penises underwater. Every time we showered together, just getting close to each other made both our penises hard and hot. Since we became more open with each other, each of our penises became a toy for the other. A toy we could play with endlessly without getting bored.
However, two guys sitting side-by-side by the riverbank didn’t look quite right. But what could we do? The feeling of being naked in nature without having to feel embarrassed was truly satisfying. Submerging ourselves in the water and stripping off all our clothes, it was both lewdly revealing and discreetly subtle. It was both revealing and suggestive.
I said to Binh, “If you don’t like Sen, then just leave her alone, why show your dislike so openly?”
Binh, with one hand stroking my penis and the other reaching behind to squeeze my butt, replied: “Except for my sister, I don’t like any other girl!”
But after saying that, he happily started fondling me from front to back, touching and squeezing me more and more intensely, as if he wanted to crush my butt.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed my leg—of course, it wasn’t Binh’s hand. I jumped back in surprise. Seeing my panic, Binh immediately asked, “What’s wrong with you?” “Does it hurt?”
Before I could answer, a head popped up. It turned out to be Thang, Uncle Bay Ro’s nephew, who had been playing hide-and-seek and had dived all the way up here.
The little boy surfaced, wiped his face, and said, “I hid here, you two stand here and tell Mo what to do!”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Luckily, he grabbed my leg; if he had grabbed a little higher, I would have dug a hole and crawled to the bottom of the river. He slipped under the bridge, submerging himself completely in the water, with only half his head sticking out to breathe.
*under the bridge: the underside of the concrete bridge
The little boy hadn’t been hiding for long when Uncle Bay’s voice boomed from under the bridge: “Come out, everyone! Dau has been caught!”
Thang emerged dejectedly from under the bridge, saying, “These kids are so annoying. They play hide-and-seek but always hide in easy places so they get caught all the time.” “Hey you two, want to play? Come down and play with us!”
*Hide and seek*
Binh and I were both fun-loving kids, so we’d join any group that invited us. Seeing more friends, they all enthusiastically swam up here, using the riverbank where I was as a landmark.
According to the rules, Binh and I had to play rock-paper-scissors with Dau, who had just been caught, to see who would be the next seeker. As expected, Dau exclaimed, “We’re always being caught!”
Thang laid down the rules: “Whoever gets caught last gets to be the next seeker.” “Let’s play for a while!”
The whole group agreed. Dau closed his eyes and started counting, while we quickly scattered, each swimming in a different direction. Binh nudged me and whispered, “Follow me!”
I swam after him, diving all the way down to Uncle Bay Ro’s dock, surfacing next to the water hyacinth fence. The river was always full, so the water hyacinths floated high, and Uncle Bay only fenced off the top with netting. Binh and I dived to the bottom and hid ourselves in the dense, lush green water hyacinths. Above the water hyacinths was Uncle Bay’s shack, built of wood and thatched with leaves, serving as a storage area for the finished water hyacinths. Binh stirred the water with his hands and feet, hoping to quickly swim away if any creatures were there.
*shack: a small, rudimentary stilt house built along the riverbank
The river was rising at this time, and the lush, long-stemmed water hyacinths floated up to almost touch the floor. So Binh and I crouched down a little lower, almost invisible from the outside.
Because it was so enclosed, it was suffocating, so I asked Binh… Binh: “Why are we hiding in here, Dad?”
Binh replied: “They won’t dare look for us if we hide in here.”
And that’s true, every day I went down to the river I heard Uncle Bay yelling at the kids not to touch the water hyacinths. So the children absolutely assumed this place was off-limits.
Here, people also often soak large logs under the riverbank as a way of preserving them, so that one day when they have money, they can pull them up to use as pillars for building houses. Uncle Bay’s patch of water hyacinths was full of logs, so Binh and I had a place to sit and rest.
As soon as Binh sat down, his hands became restless, pulling down my pants and groping me, this time even more aggressively and without restraint.
Suddenly, he exclaimed, “Hey, there’s something down here!”
I panicked, fearing it might be a snake or something. But Binh remained calm, saying, “Just sit still, let me catch it!”
After saying that, he dove underwater, then unexpectedly brought his head between my legs. Before I could react, he pressed his lips against the head of my erect penis, skillfully taking it into his mouth without letting the river water get inside.
Then he started sucking hard, and I was stunned by the strange and overwhelming sensation. Binh’s tongue licked the head of my penis, savoring every drop of fluid that oozed out as I was aroused. My penis curved upwards, touching the top of Binh’s mouth. His tongue moved back and forth along the shaft, then moved in and out of his mouth very smoothly.
I was so thrilled that I completely forgot about Binh, who was still underwater, until he ran out of breath and finally surfaced. The first thing he asked me was, “Feeling good?”
I cleared my throat, my voice hoarse from all the time, my lips dry and exposed to him. It turned out Binh hadn’t lied; this “fish” was indeed edible.
Binh looked at me, understanding perfectly. He continued to dive down to suck my dick. My legs wrapped around his back, my body arching and twisting each time he sucked my dick deep to the base. I reached down and massaged his shoulders, letting him know how much pleasure he was giving me.
Binh and I hid beneath the bridge, concealed among the water hyacinths, so even though the water rippled and the hyacinths swayed constantly, no one knew we were there. Binh sucked me tirelessly; if he didn’t need to catch his breath, he’d probably suck non-stop until I ejaculated before letting go.
While I was in the throes of pleasure, I heard the kids shouting from the other side; the first one had been caught. Dau continued searching for the next ones, glancing towards the nearby reeds and the wild branches of the carambola tree jutting out from the bank.
Binh wasn’t sucking, he was stroking; my penis hadn’t gone soft since I started. My leg touched his penis, which was hard from start to finish. This time, he sucked harder, faster, his mouth gripping my shaft tighter. I tilted my head back, enjoying the tingling sensation spreading from the tip of my penis throughout my body, but I also realized I couldn’t hold on any longer.
Binh moved his head a few more times, and I started to feel my penis throbbing, ready to ejaculate. I used both hands to pull his head away, but the more I pulled, the tighter he pressed his head back in. Unable to bear it any longer, I ejaculated into his mouth. One time, two times, until the sixth time before I finally stopped.
Binh finally surfaced, then spat out all the semen in his mouth in front of me. The milky white semen quickly sank into the water, disappearing in an instant, but the pleasure at the tip of my penis lingered.
It was Binh’s turn. He propped himself up on the shallow water below, arching his body above the water’s surface. His erect penis peeked out from the lush green water hyacinths. I stepped into deeper water, kneeling down so that the hard mud below was just right for Binh to clamp my head between his legs. I conveniently pushed some of the tall water hyacinths away from the river, and sprinkled water on his penis to wash away the roots. Once that was done, I slowly took his penis into my mouth.
It was the first time in my life I had ever sucked a boy’s penis. It was rock hard and burning hot. I imitated Binh, moving my mouth in and out. Despite my best efforts, my clumsy teeth still scraped against his penis several times as I took it deep into my mouth.
Even so, Binh kept gasping for breath, his eyes half-closed with satisfaction. He whispered, “Damn, it feels so good! I wish you sucked my dick every day! Lick my dick, Phuc!”
I did as he was told. Binh groaned and pointed at me, “Lick the head of my dick, lick down… Yes, that’s right… That spot… Ah… It feels so good… Mmm… So amazing, Phuc!”
Binh’s dick got harder and harder, his arousal making him forget we were playing hide-and-seek. He lifted one hand, pressed my head against his dick, and thrust his hips repeatedly. His dick went deep into my throat, and I instinctively choked because I wasn’t used to it. I immediately released his dick and coughed a few times.
Hearing the cough from outside, Dau immediately turned around, staring at the water hyacinths for a long time without daring to approach. Binh and I remained motionless for a few seconds, letting Dau distract us while we went to find another spot.
When everything was calm, I glanced at Binh and said, “Damn, what was that?”
Binh chuckled, “I was so horny I couldn’t control myself. Who told you to be such a good sucker!”
I knew he was praising me to flatter me, but I couldn’t help feeling happy. By now, my throat had gotten used to the feeling of Binh’s dick going in and out; it wasn’t perfect, but it was smoother than before.
Binh gritted his teeth and gasped, his whole body burning hot even in the water. His dick head was hard, the shaft covered in veins. He gently moved his hips up and down, the surrounding water rippling with each rhythm.
I didn’t know much else.
He just licked and sucked, sucked and licked again, but Binh kept moaning. After a while, he started thrusting his hips faster, his eyes tightly closed, his mouth moaning: “It feels so good… Mmm… I’ve never felt this good before, Phuc! Damn, my dick… Phuc… Ah… Damn, I’m going to cum… I’m going to cum… Mmm… Mmm…”.
He quickly pushed my head away, his mighty dick ejaculating amidst the lush green water hyacinths. The semen spilled onto the leaves, milky white, so thick it seemed almost impossible to flow, its pungent smell overpowering even the thick, mossy smell of the area. A few drops even landed on my hair because I couldn’t dodge in time.
While I was still catching my breath, Uncle Bay Ro had reached the bridgehead, shouting loudly: “It’s getting dark, come home, kids!” Binh and I jumped in surprise and immediately plunged into the water. We dived to the middle of the river and then, following the current, dived all the way to my house. As soon as I poked my head up, I heard Uncle Bay’s voice echoing from over there: “Who’s hiding in the water hyacinths? Come out now!”
Perhaps the commotion was too loud, so he came closer to investigate. He used a pole to stir the water hyacinths, checking to see if any children had emerged. But seeing nothing, he shouted loudly to the children: “Come up! Hurry! There’s a crocodile stirring the water in these water hyacinths!”
Hearing this, the children panicked and fled their hiding places, swimming as fast as they could back to the dock. Dau was searching on the riverbank, and Thang, hiding in the reeds on the other side, didn’t dare swim back. The two of them climbed onto Mrs. Chin’s bridge and then scurried around to the bridge over the river near my house to get back. As they ran past the opposite bank, he shouted: “Come up quickly, guys! Uncle Bay said there’s a crocodile!”
Uncle Bay stood at the head of the bridge, waiting for the children to come up before he followed. Although this place wasn’t exactly a dangerous jungle, the children had heard countless stories about crocodiles escaping from their enclosures.
[countless stories: frequently, so often that it was continuous]
Thang and Dau reached this side of the bank and ran to my house as fast as they could. They looked down at the bank and saw me and Binh still in the water. They stepped onto the head of the bridge and said, “Aren’t you two afraid of crocodiles?” Dau seemed to suddenly remember and asked, “But where were you two hiding earlier? I didn’t see you the whole time!”
We exchanged knowing smiles. Binh replied, “We were hiding in the mud, how could you see us!”
The children were about to say something else when they saw Uncle Bay standing on the bank with his straw whip in his hand. Each of them hunched over and ran straight home.