Sister Hanh returned home alone in the night, so no one in the village knew. To avoid detection, she walked alone from the bus station, three kilometers away, all the way home in the pouring rain. After a few days, she calmed down, and only then did my mother dare to ask: “Tell me, who did this to you?”
Sister Hanh, with tears in her eyes, replied: “That…that son of my biological mother…”
It was a cruel twist of fate. But perhaps the most painful thing was that Sister Hanh’s own mother knew about it, but she preferred to force Sister Hanh to have an abortion rather than expose that beastly son and have him receive his just punishment.
It’s true that currently, no one knows about her illegitimate pregnancy. But she’s already three months pregnant; the child will be born in less than half a year.
My mother didn’t force her to have an abortion, not just because she herself had experienced the same situation in the past. My mother said, “Don’t blame the child for the adults’ mistakes. What crime did the child commit that it shouldn’t be allowed into this world?”
But my mother was still deeply troubled. She wondered if Hanh would be strong enough like my mother to give birth to the child and live with the stigma of being an illegitimate child for the rest of her life.
Seeing my mother and I struggling to decide, Sang calmly said, “Then let’s say the child is mine. If you agree, I’ll raise it, and later, if she raises me, we’ll be even.”
Hanh knew this was the best option for her, but she was also a reasonable person. She refused, “How can you bear the burden of my situation? Besides, you’re a bachelor. With such a reputation, how will you ever find a wife?”
Sang said half-seriously, half-jokingly, “Well, I wasn’t planning on getting married anyway. If you agree, I’ll have a wife and children already, so why would I need to get married again?”
It sounded like a joke, but in the end, Sang decided to go ahead with it. At the end of that month, my mother asked Aunt Tam to consult a fortune teller to choose an auspicious day for a ceremonial feast to mark the couple’s marriage.
Sang said, “Aren’t you going to have a wedding, Aunt Hai? That would be so unfair to Hanh!”
My mother replied, “That’s Hanh’s wish, I don’t know what to do. She said she wants to save the money for later, for the baby’s milk and diapers, and not have a big wedding that would cause people to gossip.”
Sang asked Hanh, and her words surprised him even more: “My mother didn’t have a wedding either, she still gave birth to children and raised us two. It’s better than having a big wedding and then living without any affection later on…”
These words sounded nonsensical, but they revealed Hanh’s resentment towards her own mother. She never imagined that the only relative she longed for day and night would abandon her when she was at her wit’s end. Yet, someone who wasn’t related to her by blood willingly raised her for decades, even when she committed heinous crimes, without holding a grudge.
For her, her mother had long since ceased to be simply someone repaying her father’s kindness. Seeing how heartbroken her mother was upon seeing her again, she understood that her mother truly considered her as her own flesh and blood.
The offering of food to my father was placed on the altar, and that was also the moment Sang called my mother “Mom.” The simple meal consisted only of Uncle Bay, Aunt Tam, and a few of my close friends, but Hanh felt that was enough.
Outwardly, Sang and my sister were husband and wife, with a proper marriage certificate. But inwardly, he only slept with me at night; even if I chased him away, he wouldn’t budge.
In the first few days, I often teased him: “So, how do you feel about being my son-in-law?”
Sang replied: “I’ve been your son-in-law for a long time, I’m used to it now, what’s so strange about it anymore?”
I asked again, “It’s only been a few days, how long is that?”
Sang shook his head, “Counting from the first time I fucked you in the shrimp pond, I’ve already been your son-in-law, haven’t I?”
I was terrified by his indecent words, but Sang was truly a solid support for me, my mother, and now even Hanh.
I suddenly remembered something else: “Oh, but have Uncle and Aunt Ba heard about this yet? If they find out, you won’t be allowed to go to work anymore, right?”
Sang hugged me, closed his eyes tightly, and rested his chin on my hair, replying, “They know everything. They’ll be angry for five or ten minutes. But after a while, everything will be fine.”
Besides his enormous penis and his mouth that drives others crazy with its oral sex skills, Sang’s glib tongue also earned my immense admiration. Actually, it wasn’t without reason that Uncle and Aunt Ba overlooked Sang’s easy marriage. Sang himself had said, “I could serve you both for the rest of my life, but when I’m old and sick, who will take care of me? You’re rich and have servants, but if I don’t have children, I might die stuck at home, and by the time you find me, there will be maggots in my eyes.”
Hearing those chilling words, Uncle and Aunt Ba thought a lot. Finally, they accepted Sang’s marriage to Hanh without further questioning.
The next morning, as usual, I went to eat breakfast early and then went to the fields. Unexpectedly, I saw Hanh sweeping the altar and portraits with a feather duster. Seeing me take out the leftover rice, she said, “Eating leftover rice in the morning might give you a stomach ache. Let me fry some rice for you.”
Without waiting for my reply, she sautéed onions and garlic, then added the rice and stirred. After a while, she cracked two eggs into the pan. The aroma from the pan filled the house; it smelled so much like Mom’s fried rice.
Sister Hanh poured the rice into a bowl and offered it to me, saying, “I just learned this from Mom the other day. Try it and see if it’s as good as Mom’s.”
I scooped some rice into my mouth; the simple yet delicious flavor was almost as good as Mom’s. I ate intently, when suddenly I heard her ask, “Are you still angry with me, little sister?”
I stopped eating, and for some reason, tears welled up and my throat tightened. I swallowed the rice and quietly replied, “Probably not.”
Sister Hanh said, “Even if you’re angry with me, it’s okay. Remember, I couldn’t even forgive myself back then.”
I buried my face in my rice, only saying, “You’re pregnant, Mom said not to overthink things.”
Suddenly, Hanh stroked my hair and said, “Yes, Mom always cares about me. I know you do too, Ut. Thank you, Ut, for taking care of Mom while I was away. When I can work again, I’ll help you take care of Mom, okay?”
Hearing these words, for some reason, I no longer wanted to be angry with her. Even though she had treated me and Mom badly before, the memories of growing up together for over a decade couldn’t just be forgotten.
Since Hanh came home, my mother, though busy, seemed much happier. Hanh, even though pregnant, didn’t want my mother to lift a finger for anything she could do herself. Thanks to Sang, we didn’t have to worry about money as much. Every time he came home, he would give my mother money and say, “Next week, Mom, go to the market and buy some nutritious food for your wife and child. You used to eat so well that you gave birth to such a smart and clever son, so buy some of that for your wife and child.”
My mother just laughed, but she took care of Hanh’s health without Sang needing to remind her.
Sang occasionally said to me, “It’s true, getting four for the price of one is a great deal.”
I asked, “What do you mean by ‘getting four’?”
Sang replied, “Before, I didn’t have a mother, a wife, or children. Now I have a mother, children, and two wives, so isn’t that getting four?”
Sang said that when Hanh is eight months pregnant, he will ask Uncle and Aunt Ba for permission to stay home. He will only go back to work after Hanh gives birth. Hearing him say that, a thought suddenly popped into my head…
I said, “There’s so much unemployment down here… Maybe…”
Sang leaned close to my ear and whispered, “You want to go to Saigon?”
I was increasingly impressed by his perceptiveness. I nodded slightly, “But how did you know?”
Sang replied, “Looking at you, I can tell. You’re tired of country boys, aren’t you? Coming to Saigon to find some fair-skinned, fragrant girls of all kinds…”
I nodded immediately, “That’s right, I’m so bored. No playing tonight, okay?”
Sang shook his head, “No, you’re bored, but I’m not yet…”
After a moment of silence, Sang asked again, “Are you looking for your father?”
I took a deep breath, glanced through the gap in the tent floor, following the water hyacinths silently drifting into the indefinite darkness. I sighed deeply and replied, “I want to, but I don’t know where to look…”
Even if the sky fell, my mother would never tell me about that man. But because she always kept this a secret, I wanted to know even more who the man who had betrayed her was.
The next day, I saw Binh loitering in the yard. I had to rub my eyes to see if it was a person or a ghost. Seeing him, I ran over and sarcastically remarked, “Oh, so Tet (Lunar New Year) is coming already?”
Binh replied, “Damn it, we just met this morning and you’re already mocking me.”
I asked again, “Hey, why is your ‘darling’ letting herself roam free today?”
Binh ran over and grabbed my mouth, saying, “Shut up! Darling my ass! I’ve quit my job, don’t mention it again!”
I was startled: “What do you mean quit?”
Binh sighed, “Damn, Minh ruined me and Mr. Tam. The other day, he got drugged by Mr. Tu, and he fucked Mr. Tam so hard that he got addicted. Now he makes us do that drug every day. Oh my god, it’s exhausting. He’s the one enjoying it, not us.”
I asked, “So you and Mr. Tam quit too?”
Binh nodded: “We’ve been strangled for a whole month, twice a day. If we stayed there another week, you’d be calling for a funeral procession with drums and trumpets.”
As he spoke, he lifted his shirt to show me; there was no meat on his ribs, only a layer of skin covering protruding bones, a truly horrifying sight. Binh, usually so robust and strong, had fallen to this state, which meant the drug was truly potent.
I asked: “So what are you going to do? Go back to working as a hired laborer?”
Binh shook his head: “I’m about to get a new job, and I’m thinking of inviting you to work with me!”
I excitedly asked: “What kind of job?”
With that, he grabbed my hand and dragged me roughly into the house. As soon as the door closed, he stripped off all his clothes in one go.
I yelled in a low voice: “What’s wrong, man? Your ribs are practically popping out, and you’re still so energetic?”
Binh replied, “I’m only scared of drugs, but with you, I could do three rounds straight!”
He pulled me onto the bed, and we started sucking each other’s dicks. Our moans were stifled in our throats as our tongues busily licked each other’s glans. While sucking, he reached down to my ass and poked around, not forgetting to spit a little saliva on it to lubricate it.
Then, Binh slowly lay on my back and inserted his dick. He hugged me and moved gently, as if he didn’t want to ejaculate but just wanted to keep his dick inside my ass.
I asked, “What are you doing?” “So? If you’re going to do it, do it properly!”
Binh shook his head: “Let’s talk, I prefer it this way.”
Then he put his dick in my ass, thrusting a few times every few minutes. At this point, I brought up the main topic: “What were you talking about earlier? If you said you wanted to have sex, I’d punch you in the mouth.”
Binh thrust his dick two or three times and replied: “You’re so hot-tempered, no wonder you’re so horny inside. My older sister told me to go to the city to work. Her restaurant is doing really well, and they’re short on staff.”
I was overjoyed: “Sister An? Is that in Saigon?”
Binh replied: “Yes. I only dared to quit my job at Mr. Tu Tai’s place because she told me beforehand. Otherwise, I’d starve to death!”
I asked again: “So when are you leaving?”
Binh pushed his dick in really deep and left it there for about a minute, then replied: “The sooner she tells me to, the better. She’s in a real hurry, she can’t keep up.” I nodded: “Yeah, let me go with you. It’s so boring living here, eating only what you earn each day.”
Binh kept thrusting his penis into my ass, then asked: “Where do you want to stay up there? My sister suggested we stay at her house, but I don’t want to. How about we rent a room outside?”
I asked again: “But… um… is it… expensive outside?”
Binh thrust faster and faster, his voice breaking: “Well… um… there are different areas… Let me ask… um… it feels so good… I’ll ask my sister to find one for us…”
I nodded: “Okay… So… so… um… when we find a place to stay… then… then… um… let’s go, okay?”
Binh lifted my butt up to thrust his dick repeatedly into me, replying, “Yeah… When… um… there’s… there’s a place… where fucking feels so good… then go… go… go… Ah… I’ll cum… I’ll cum…”
He finished the sentence and ejaculated into my ass, then lay on my back for a while.
Hearing my plan, my mother and Hanh didn’t forbid it. Hanh said she’d take care of things at home. My mother said Hanh had her, so I shouldn’t worry.
Only Sang has been terribly sad lately. He even took several days off just to sleep next to me. Several nights Binh wanted to sleep with me, and Sang cursed him so badly he couldn’t even wipe his face: “Later you’ll be living with Phuc, you can have as many rounds as you want every day, right? He’s only a few days away, and you can’t even give me a break, you heartless jerk?”
I don’t know what Sang sees me as, and I don’t even know what to call this relationship. Maybe not love, but certainly more than just close friends.
The night An called to say she’d found a place to rent, Sang didn’t sleep a wink. After we made love, I fell asleep, while he kept his nose to my forehead, inhaling deeply.
The next morning, before the roosters crowed, he woke me up. I don’t know where he got it from, but he produced a beautiful box containing a necklace with a sparkling turquoise teardrop pendant.
He said, “This is for you. Remember to keep it safe. If you ever need it, you can pawn it for money.”
I said, “No, I don’t need it. An is up there, at most I’ll ask her for help.”
Sang held my hand tightly in his and said, “An is An, but I’m different. Remember, only use it when you’re really desperate.” “But if you ever pawn it, you’ll have to pawn it for a high price.”
I asked, “How high do you need to pay? Two million dong?”
Sang replied, “Higher. At least the price of a motorbike.”
I was startled; a motorbike costs at least fifteen or twenty million dong. Carrying this item would only make me feel more insecure.
I vehemently refused: “No, you keep it or sell it and use it yourself, how could I possibly accept it?”
Sang laughed: “It’s only a few tens of millions, you deserve much more than that.”
After a while of arguing, Sang insisted I carry it as a kind of self-defense. He told me to wear it around my neck, and if anyone asked, to say I bought it at the market for only a few tens of thousands of dong. He didn’t say the real amount to “trick” me, but to prevent me from being cheated by some unscrupulous person in Saigon. It was also a support system so that whenever I stumbled, even without him by my side, I would have something to lean on to get back on my feet. After lunch with my family, Binh and I got in the car and headed to the luxurious place I had always dreamed of. A new journey was about to begin.