The man sneered again: “Like attracts like, huh?”
The woman added: “That devilish woman, old but still craving young men. You probably let him have his way with you, that’s why he’s protecting you, right?”
Sang asked: “So, are you going to burn down the house or not? Tell me so I know what to do.”
As he spoke, Sang brandished the axe in his hand. The family, though seemingly timid, were scared. The son mumbled: “Just leave him alone, Dad. He’s an orphan, he might do something reckless…”
The woman reluctantly relented, saying: “Anyway, I’m a generous person. I’ll give you and your son until midnight. If you’re not finished by tonight, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Then they left. The son kept glancing back, afraid Sang would chase after him with the axe. As for Hanh, she didn’t say a word from beginning to end, and when she turned away, she didn’t even look back.
Uncle Bay said to my mother, “That girl’s nature hasn’t changed at all in decades. Just move your things over to my house for now, we’ll figure things out after Tet.”
Sang came in from outside and said, “Auntie Hai, bring your things over to my house. I have plenty of space here.” After saying that, he busily went inside, took down the horse-shaped furniture, and carried it away piece by piece. Uncle Bay looked at me for a long time and then called out, “Phuc, come with me.”
I felt like I had lost my soul. How could the people closest to me do such unbelievable things? Uncle Bay pulled my shoulder to let me know I should move forward, but in truth, my mind was blank; I didn’t want to think about anything more.
Uncle Bay led me down to the shed where he usually stored dried water hyacinths, but there weren’t any this season, so the shed was just an empty room. Looking towards the door, I saw my mother and Sang slowly packing up. Tears welled up in my eyes as I couldn’t comprehend what had just happened.
Uncle Bay poured me some tea, telling me to drink it to calm down. He asked, “Do you believe what Hanh’s mother said, son?”
I shook my head, whispering, “I don’t know either.”
Uncle Bay sighed, “Hanh’s mother is notoriously sharp-tongued. She exaggerates things tenfold. It’s not that I’m defending your mother, but I have to say she’s beautiful both inside and out.”
I asked sadly, “So, is the story about my mother having an illegitimate child true or false, Uncle?”
Uncle Bay said, “Your mother told me not to tell you this, but now that things have come to this, you need to know.”
“What Hanh’s mother said is partly true and partly false. When your mother wandered here, I was the one who found her on the street. Her face was all dirty and grimy, but her eyes were bright, her forehead high, and her skin fair; you could tell she was from the city.”
“But back then, I was working far away, I wasn’t home all the time to keep an eye on your mother. Binh’s parents were the same; only Hanh’s mother was always at home. That’s why Hanh’s father took pity on her and let her stay with us while he went to work, his wife stayed home to look after things.”
“And your mother is also quite knowledgeable; she has a little bit of gold jewelry. At first, you hinted at it behind Hanh’s mother’s back, but ever since your mother gave her the gold to gamble on the lottery, she’s been very happy. But it’s the lottery, you know, nobody ever gets rich from it.”
“Hanh’s mother gambled away all her money and then came to your mother begging for it. Your mother gave her all the money she had, and then Hanh reverted to her old, sharp-tongued self. Your father knew better, so the two of them had a huge fight. Then Hanh’s mother left home and disappeared, not even taking Hanh with her.”
“Hanh’s father was also upset. That night, he went out drinking with a friend until late. On the way home, it was raining, and he was so drunk he slipped into the river. He couldn’t swim because of a hip injury and drowned. Your mother, eight months pregnant, struggled to raise Hanh. When she heard Hanh’s father had died, she was so scared she had a miscarriage. We thought she wouldn’t be able to keep you.”
“I and Aunt Tam felt so sorry for her, and then Binh’s parents also pitched in. After your mother gave birth, Aunt Tam took care of everything; don’t ask why she loves your mother like her own daughter.”
“Have you ever seen anyone steal someone’s husband and ruin their family and still be loved like that, my child? I’m telling you, your mother is incredibly kind. If it were any other woman in this neighborhood, they would have drowned Hanh’s mother in the river by now.”
Hearing Uncle Bay’s story, I understood perfectly why my mother would rather let me drop out of school than not raise Hanh to be successful. It was because of my father’s kindness in taking care of her, because of the kindness that helped her survive when she was at her wit’s end. Therefore, even when she was humiliated, she willingly endured it.
Money debts can be repaid. But debts of gratitude last a lifetime.
I asked again: “So, Uncle Bay, do you know who my father is?”
Uncle Bay shook his head: “Your mother didn’t tell anyone. I only know that guy is in Saigon. I don’t know why your mother had to hide down here, as if to make sure no one could find her.”
“When I took your mother to the commune office to get her paperwork done, she secretly hid her old ID card. Your mother is originally from Saigon, so I really don’t understand why she moved here. But anyway, if she hid it, it means she doesn’t want to talk about it, and I won’t ask any more questions.”
Perhaps that’s the fate that made me feel Saigon is…
“Oh, I’ve always wanted to come here. Why would a young woman from Saigon have to flee back here?”
After pausing, Uncle Bay continued, “After you were born, your mother only just learned to cook fish. Oh my God, remember when she first made sour fish soup and the fish turned out bloody? I almost died laughing.”
Thinking about my mother, I felt sorry for her. She must have been a refined young lady before. Yet, when I learned to speak and laugh, I only saw a hardworking, toiling mother, working in the fields from dawn till dusk, year after year, without ever complaining.
Perhaps the day she left Saigon was also the day she abandoned her old identity. When she gave birth to me here, she herself came to life as a different person.
Uncle Bay sighed, “You’ll find out about this sooner or later, but no one expected Hanh’s mother to come back here and cause trouble. She holds grudges for so long, I’m scared, while people have raised her children for decades and she doesn’t even bother to look after them.”
Thinking of Hanh makes me sad again. For all these years, my mother has never treated her badly. Yet today, she brought her own mother here to take everything away—the land, the house, her daughter, and even my mother’s honor and self-respect.
But Hanh just stood there, watching, as if it were karma my mother had to endure.
I thanked Uncle Bay and then packed up to help my mother. While she was cleaning my room, she accidentally pulled out a pile of books that I had kept hidden for years. Tears streamed down her face as she held the books; I don’t know if she felt sorry for me or was thinking of Hanh.
I went to her side and silently hugged her. She hugged me back, letting me rest my head on her shoulder, just like in the old days. My mother said, “I’m sorry for hiding it from you all these years. I’m sorry for always letting you suffer. I’m sorry for not giving you a complete family…”
I interrupted her, “I’m sorry for always letting you bear everything alone. Thank you, Mom, for never abandoning me even in the end…”
Thanks to Sang and Uncle Bay’s help, by the afternoon, everything was cleaned up. That night, Hanh’s mother actually hired two thugs to pour gasoline and burn down the old house. The fire blazed up, illuminating a corner of the sky, but none of the neighbors around my house shouted to put out the fire.
Because everyone in the neighborhood already knew about what happened at noon. Burning down the house was like freeing my mother and me from our old lives. Perhaps now my mother had paid off all her debts with each ashes fluttering in the wind.
Auntie Tam knew about it, so the next morning she rushed over. As soon as she saw my mother, she ran to hug her and burst into tears. She said, “Oh my God, how cruel and heartless! I’ve raised Hanh for so long, given her food and education, and now she’s done this… it’s unacceptable…”
Mrs. Tam took a wad of money from her purse and gave it to Sang, instructing him, “Sang, go buy some leaves and wood to build another house for Nguyet to live in. I’ll make up the difference later. Keep this money, because Nguyet won’t take it if I give it to her.”
But Sang shook his head, “I won’t take it either…”
Before he could finish, Mrs. Tam scolded, “You won’t let her stay? I’ll beat you to death!”
Sang quickly explained, “No, I won’t take your money, Tam. I’ve bought the wood and leaves, they’ll deliver them in a few days. And I have money, I have plenty, Tam, save it for milk and noodles.”
Mrs. Tam smiled kindly, “I thought you wouldn’t let her stay.”
Sang feigned a wronged expression: “Since Phuc went to work, I’ve been asking Aunt Hai to move in with me, but she wouldn’t agree, Tam. I’m so happy she’s here, how could I not let her?”
Aunt Tam chuckled, then told Men to bring up the fruit she had bought. With Tet (Lunar New Year) approaching and so many things to do, my mother hadn’t had time to buy anything yet. My mother arranged the fruit on a plate and placed it on the altar, in front of the photograph of my non-biological father, and said: “Brother Sau, thank you for saving my mother and me. We can’t live in our old house anymore, so my mother and I moved here. Please understand and don’t blame us.”
Aunt Tam immediately retorted: “Oh, you! What’s there to blame? If you hadn’t brought her here, she would have been a burnt-out ghost last night!”
Sang’s house was neither small nor large. When he first built it, he didn’t think he’d be accommodating anyone else, so the space in front of the house, which was only used for my mother and my things, was already full. Uncle Bay saw this and said, “I’ll let you borrow that shed over there for now. When we build more, you can move up here.”
Sang’s room was renovated to become my mother’s room. I let Sang sleep in front of the house, but he stubbornly refused, insisting on sleeping in the shed with me.
It was past midnight when Sang finally asked, “Are you and Aunt Hai afraid of me?”
I replied, “Of course we are. Whenever I sleep next to you, you always have a long, striped baton ready.”
Sang joked, “It’s not a baton, it’s a pleasure stick. Do you want to try it?”
As he spoke, Sang leaned over and pressed his erect penis against my back.
I whispered, “Thank you for protecting my mother and me that day. If it weren’t for you, my mother and I would probably only have our clothes clinging to our skin.”
Sang suddenly asked, “But do you know why those people are afraid of me?”
I replied, “Because what you said… is true.”
Sang stopped rubbing his penis against my back and lay on his back, looking straight up at the camp kid. He sighed, “Yes, I’ve killed someone before. That’s why I ran away and came back here.”
I
I reached down and touched his penis, only to find it had gone limp without me realizing it. Perhaps this was his fatal weakness; talking about it brought out all his inner insecurities. Yet that day, he disregarded this to protect my mother and me. I don’t know how to describe his bravery.
I asked again, “But why did you come back so quickly? I heard that guy say you were only in there for a few years. Murder only gets you a few years in prison?”
Sang replied, “I was convicted of manslaughter, but I reformed well and worked hard, so they let me out early.”
So he was convicted of manslaughter. That’s a different story. Once, I asked my mother what manslaughter meant, and she explained it was killing someone unintentionally, or in self-defense.
I teased him, “What did you do to work hard in there?”
Sang understood my meaning, and put on a lewd tone: “It’s because I fucked the prison guards in there, I fucked them for a long time and got them released early.”
I said, “Long time and got them hard? I touched you and they went limp just now!”
Sang asked again, “Are you sure?”
To verify, I reached down and touched his penis, discovering that not only was it hard, but he had also undressed at some point. I turned around and looked at him in shock; a perfect, naked body was displayed before me.
I pretended to be startled: “What are you doing?”
Sang casually said, “Just doing what men do! Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to you. I like people to do it willingly, I don’t force anyone.”
Then, he turned on his phone’s flashlight and shone it on his penis, stroking it right next to me. Seeing his penis in its entirety for the first time, I suddenly felt a lump in my throat.
I secretly turned away, my dick already hard in my pants. Sang asked, “What’s wrong? You’ve seen the pictures so many times, and you’re still shy in real life?”
I wasn’t shy, it’s just that seeing him for the first time and showing too much desire felt a bit inappropriate. I turned away, afraid that if I looked at him any longer, I wouldn’t be able to control myself.
Sang stroked my dick while breathing into my ear, and even provoked me with many lewd words. One moment he’d say, “I’m so horny… suck my dick…”, the next, “My dick is dripping wet, lick it, baby…”
That’s how it was, with that kind of body and that kind of lewdness, who could resist? If Minh saw this, I wonder if his nosebleed would start gushing out.
I was also curious about what it was like when he was in prison, so I asked, “In there… Is there a place for you to masturbate?”
Sang closed his eyes, masturbating while replying, “You should be asking if I masturbate often, shouldn’t you? There’s plenty of space. I could even masturbate in the middle of the shared cell and nobody would say anything.”
I asked again, “So, do you masturbate often?”
Sang grinned, “No. From the day I went in there until the day I got out, I haven’t masturbated once.”
I looked surprised, “Wow, can you believe that?”
Sang continued, “It’s true. They just let me do whatever I wanted, so I didn’t need to masturbate.”
“I had to do it at least twice a day. In the afternoon, when I went to shower, I’d encounter some girls begging to let me suck on them. At night, I’d be half-asleep and wake up feeling good, only to find someone thrusting repeatedly. Some days I was almost dead from exhaustion, but I still had to force myself to ‘serve’ the gangsters in there. Oh my god, the suffering is beyond description…”
I frowned, “Were you in prison or in an amusement park?”
The more he talked about his life in prison, the less I felt he resembled a criminal. Although he always tried to hide things, I knew there must be some secret behind it.
But like Uncle Bay, if someone isn’t willing to talk about something, asking about it would only make things awkward for both of us. I’ll wait for the day Sang tells me himself.
After about half an hour of masturbating, Sang was about to ejaculate. He let out a loud groan, then shoved his penis through the hole in the floorboards and ejaculated profusely. His semen fell straight down into the river below, making a splashing sound.